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How to make friends during a pandemic

Making new friends can be a challenge even under normal circumstances. 再加上疫情迫使足球外围官网登录保持距离,这可能会让人感到不知所措. 米奇Prinstein解释了为什么即使一切都感觉如此不同,仍然有可能建立这些关系.

Two students sit on Polk Place.
Students hang out on Polk Place on August 13, 2020, on the campus of the University of North Carolina at 教堂山分校. (Johnny Andrews/UNC-教堂山分校)

对许多学生而言, 大学是一个机会,让他们更全面地成长,甚至为他们的余生创造一个新的身份.


“足球外围官网登录在大学里拥有的社会关系对你将来成为什么样的人有着极其重要的影响. Peers play an incredibly important role in shaping what we do in college, 足球外围官网登录相信, 以及足球外围官网登录如何打发时间,米奇Prinstein说, 最正规外围足球网站大学的约翰·范·塞特斯(John Van Seters)是心理学和神经科学教授,也是青少年同伴关系方面的专家.

米奇PrinsteinNot only are those friendships important for social development, but they’re also necessary for your physical health. 社会关系的缺失实际上会在足球外围官网登录的大脑中引发类似于身体疼痛的反应.

“Social relationships aren’t just for fun or entertainment. They are very important,”Prinstein说. “We are biologically programmed to need them, 寻求他们, and our bodies respond dramatically when we don’t have them.”

But making new friends can be a challenge even under normal circumstances. 再加上疫情迫使足球外围官网登录保持距离,这可能会让人感到不知所措.


Create opportunities for one-on-one conversations.

在新学年开始的时候,学生们通常会成群结队地旅行和社交. 随着时间的推移,当人们开始结对并建立更紧密的联系时,这些群体就会减少.

普林斯汀说:“这是足球外围官网登录货比三家的本能。. But physically distancing removes that opportunity. 而不是, 他建议尝试新的活动,并寻找机会与不同的人进行安全的一对一对话.

“现在, 你必须以很小的小组形式见面,因为和宿舍里的所有人一起出去玩不安全,”Prinstein说. “It takes more effort and work to try and do that one at a time with people.”

When you have the opportunity to talk with a new person, focus on them and ask questions to find common ground. 在某种程度上, Prinstein说, 这是一种快速约会的心态,寻找尽可能多的小对话,最大化地获取信息.

Those conversations just may need to virtual right now.

Use technology, but dig deeper.

A great starting point is technology. Through apps like GroupMe or online gaming platforms, 你可以开始和别人建立联系,分享积极的经历.

“It’s not just information exchanged through an interview. You have to actually have fun together,”Prinstein说. “When you both share the same moment of fun, that creates the bonding.”

This only goes so far, he warned. 你可能只触及了一个人精心策划的表面的最上层,只建立了肤浅的联系, not substantial ones that can grow into friendships.

的关键, Prinstein说, 利用这些最初的虚拟连接来更多地了解真实的人吗. 直接的信息应该变成电话,然后变成视频聊天,从而创造更多的机会去真正了解一个人,即使你们不能面对面.

“你是根据他们选择提供给你的信息来联系的,”他说. “Everyone knows that’s not the real person behind the profile, however. It’s a  curated version of who they are. 它是 hard to form the real connections because in real life, 足球外围官网登录和人们一起出去玩, 足球外围官网登录看到他们做笨拙和愚蠢的事情,足球外围官网登录开始了解他们的缺点和全部.”


You might be thinking that all of that sounds uncomfortable. 它是.

Everything we’ve known about making friends up until this point is different. Even the basics of in-person conversations have changed. 当足球外围官网登录为了安全而戴口罩时,足球外围官网登录也会遮住面部表情.

这是足球外围官网登录可以通过说“这很有趣”而不是微笑来克服的, but it can feel forced and awkward. Those adjustments will help build connections with people, Prinstein说.

“足球外围官网登录必须描述足球外围官网登录对别人口头说的话的反应,因为足球外围官网登录不能指望别人看到足球外围官网登录的微笑或通过微妙的面部表情来读懂对方。,”他说. “足球外围官网登录这辈子都没这么做过,所以这真的很尴尬. 足球外围官网登录必须采取行动.”

That awkwardness you feel shouldn’t prevent you from making new friends. For your physical and mental health, it simply can’t.

“当足球外围官网登录感到压力时,朋友是足球外围官网登录的头号求助对象, and we’re experiencing a huge amount of stress right now,”Prinstein说. “让自己走出去,找到一种方法来认识到这是人类的需求.  找到一种结交新朋友的方法是完全值得的,即使以不熟悉的或被迫的方式建立新关系会感到尴尬.

“We just all need to lean into the awkwardness and just be like ‘Look, I know this is uncool and weird, but I’m in college and want to make new friends.’ It’s going to be a little bit peculiar, 所以让足球外围官网登录对它一笑置之,对足球外围官网登录现在生活的这个奇怪的世界保持一种良好的幽默感.”